Important tips to overcome a painful situation
If you have recently lost a beloved family member, ended a significant friendship or broken up with someone you love, chances are you feel completely broken and devastated. The deep sadness and pain you are grappling with can cloud your sound thinking and your ability to see a positive future for yourself. Fortunately, there are ways you can overcome this awful experience. Let’s dig in:
Do not try to hide your feelings:
If you feel broken or devastated, you may feel the urge to reject your emotions or block your thoughts because they are more painful than you can bear. Perhaps you feel embarrassed of some feelings and think they mirror your weakness.
However, know that everyone can feel sadness, anger, and regret in a particular stage of their life, and some experiences seem to trigger these emotions. Therefore, you need to embrace your feelings instead of rejecting them.
Besides, you can’t make these feelings “magically” vanish, no matter how hard you try. When you suppress or reject them, you will not make them disappear. On the contrary, these feelings can get out of control and become even harder to handle. Once you learn to acknowledge them, you will have the chance to consciously sort them out.
Trust that these feelings are impermanent:
You should wholeheartedly believe in the law of impermanence, especially when you are going through some tough times. Your life is nothing but a series of ups and downs and the alternation of joy and misery.
When you grow older, you will feel nostalgic about these experiences and you will see how much they contributed in shaping the person you have become. Life is short, and these experiences are merely transient.
To over your sorrow when you feel broken inside, remember that “this too shall pass”. Make this your mantra and repeat it to yourself to trust that your sadness will finally resolve. Try to consider your past hardships to provide context for this one, and regard it as a hurdle, rather than a permanent state in your life.
Ask for help:
We know, you may be ashamed to acknowledge that you can’t deal with a situation on your own, or find the thought of sharing your suffering quite disheartening. But when you are unable to look beyond your suffering, speaking to someone you trust and asking for moral support can make a huge difference.
Repressing your thoughts or keeping them to yourself can amplify the pain and overshadow your sound thinking. But talking to a partner, friend, or family member helps you drop some of the burden and benefit from people’s problem-solving skills.
Think about someone who is emotionally mature, compassionate and understanding. If you want secrecy, talking to a counselor can help.
Learn to accept change:
When you shatter into small pieces, it’s likely that life has taken a direction you don’t like. When something or someone you hold so dear is taken away from you, it’s only natural to feel afraid and abhor change. Yet, you should know that nothing remains static, and change is an inescapable process in your life. And if you refuse to go with it, feelings of anger, helplessness, and disappointment will surface.
Thus, it’s important to accept change and consider its effects on your personal growth. Necessary change can make you happier, wiser, and more fulfilled.
To realize just how important change is, try making a list of the biggest positive changes in your life. This way, you will know that change can be for the good, and fight the negative thoughts that prevent you from moving on with your life.
You can grow from this:
Remember that tough life events and hardships will contribute to your personal development in the long term. Of course, now, you are only thinking whether life is always going to be this miserable. But when all seems to go down the drain, try to cling to any ray of hope. Use that last ounce of courage to look for the positive things in whatever pitfall that presents in your way. You’ll thank you for it later!
Trying to be optimistic and hopeful does not mean you should ignore your pain and suffering. It means you are willing to see more than one side of life. If you can’t be positive about the future yet, think about how much you’ve grown at this stage of your life. This experience you are bound to go through might be the most meaningful lesson you will ever learn.
Feel free to share your thoughts with us in the comment section below!