These bad practices can make you poor and lonely
Social relationships are important and complicated at the same time. They confer several benefits on your emotional and mental health, but there are certain habits you need to avoid so you don’t be a pariah.
You can’t say no:
Of course, being of service to someone you cherish is an act of kindness and care. But once you start to choose others over your personal interests a little too much, you need to revisit your priorities.
If your schedule teems with stuff you need to do for others, like shopping, consulting, lending and other time-consuming services, take some time to think about what these people have done for you. If you don’t find an answer, then you should be convinced that you’re giving way too much.
Make yourself a top priority before thinking about anyone else, even if they call you selfish; they just want to trick you into redoing things for them. Don’t carelessly do things for people, think whether they deserve it or not.
You seek others’ validation:
If you lack confidence or have insecurities, your social relationships are likely to get affected. How? You’ll always seek others’ validation and constantly look for their approval in each and everything you do. Plus, you’ll be swayed by others’ opinions and consider them as more important than your own.
On top of that, you’ll keep doing things that grant you compliments from your friends and colleagues to feel good about yourself. If you don’t receive the opinion you’re hoping for, you’ll blame yourself and your actions.
Invest your time and effort in reaching your own targets and try to accept yourself the way you are- confidence will be your best friend.
You ignore your problems:
During a conflict, giving up your rights is a plain bad idea. When you easily surrender and refuse to argue or complain, your partner or friend might belittle you.
You could think that it’s easier to keep quiet and be patient and tolerant, even when you’re right, but people will think you’re passive, you don’t have an opinion and you can’t stand for your own rights. As a result, they won’t take you seriously, and hence, you will be ignored, marginalized and lonely.
The best thing to do is try to show your strong personality and defend your opinions and views; this is what shapes your identity and makes you authentically different. You don’t have to be loud and aggressive, just voice your opinion and earn respect. That’s more important than a courteous smile.
You don’t set boundaries:
This occurs when you are always prepared to do everything and anything for other people, you are ready to leave everything behind, and drive across town to settle a problem for somebody else or offer a specific service for free. When you can postpone your own activities and tasks for someone else and you just can’t say no.
Set your priorities and let them known. For instance, if you have to be somewhere on the weekend, don’t be afraid to say you’re not available and choose the appropriate time when you can help your friend. You don’t have to justify your unavailability, you must be the most important person to you!
You do things you don’t really want to do:
When you have a weak personality, you’ll make yourself available for everyone. This will make you regret your actions, since the service you’re offering for the others does not match your schedule.
Your inability to refuse the requests of your friends, family or colleagues urges you to make room for everybody, and forget about yourself.
You should devote portions of time for your favorite activities, such as rest, exercise, housework, traveling, or even a hobby. Make a day for the things you draw your happiness from, and again, set your priorities. Think about yourself before you begrudgingly do anything for anybody else.
Most importantly, try to enjoy every second of your life and be happy! Life is too short to waste it trying to satisfy others!